slashed seat affairs

down in albion

2007-06-15T12:12:00Z

So what's Bourkey been up to?

Well my phone got cut off, for real this time. But I paid the bill today so in a few days it should be operational.

I totally failed my chemistry exam on Thursday. This semester's been a shambles. I now have to make sure I pass the QM exam I've got on Wednesday which I wasn't even going to go to. Because if I don't, there's a good chance I'll be kicked out.

So no fun for me until after Wednesday.

But guess what happens then.

I move out to Brunswick! My new home will be Albion St, and my new family will be Talkshow Boy, Carol, Bianca, Metal and a whole bunch of cats. Yara just called me before and said he's moving out tonight, so I can start moving my stuff in whenever I want, but I figure it's best to leave all that until after my exam or I'll lose focus. It's wierd, I haven't really been able to get as excited as I should be about what is one of the biggest and most excellent changes in my life because of all this uni crap I've got to worry about. But come Wednesday I'm going to go nuts. You should all join me.

So all in all, mixed emotions. I can't wait to move out, but I've got to keep a lid on it until I can get uni out of the way. It's frustrating.

And just to top it off, I'm home alone this weekend. Home alone for my last weekend ever in this house. And I can't even enjoy it! Irony, you cruel bitch!

I hope you all are well, and I will see you shortly.

wildlyoscillate @ 2007-05-04T14:29:00

2007-05-04T04:34:18Z

Hey people.

If you've tried to contact me and found it difficult, there is a reason. My phone has been cut off because I haven't paid my bills. Oh me, oh my.

If you've got anything important to say to me, you have three options;

a) post it here

b) email me at waveparticleduality@hotmail.com

c) ring me at home on 9370 4287 but then you probably have to deal with my parents

I'm going to be away all weekend watching Brian try not to plummet to his death, so I won't get any contact until Monday I guess. But if it's really urgent ring Brian, Hotdog or Sam and you should be able to get onto me.

Peace out. War in.

your verbose kitchen

2007-03-27T07:56:40Z

I now have 666 albums, and none of them are metal.

wildlyoscillate @ 2007-03-24T01:11:00

2007-03-23T14:12:11Z

OMGENO

take a ch-ch-ch-chance

2007-01-16T13:20:16Z

Bourkey is 21 today.

beware the milky pirate

2007-01-06T15:36:11Z

Must fight... stoner routine... settling in...

My god it's hot.

Finally saw Coffee and Cigarettes. Awesome movie. Bill Murray's a spaced-out wierdo and I love him.

Kenny + Spenny = Pleasure

wildlyoscillate @ 2006-11-08T10:41:00

2006-11-08T00:41:20Z

I've been fired!
Wow, I'm really making a habit of this.
It's all good though, as I was going to quit in a couple of weeks. I've already got a new job in a call centre that seems much better than FUCKING COLLECTIONS. Ugh, what a horrible place that was. The only upside was my fellow workers who were a great bunch of peeps. But I'm going to have better ones in my new job, including the Nevinator, whose going to be working with me again at this new place.

When Emma from 'Select Teleresources' let me know, she said "I don't think you're suited to a corporate role", breaking it to me gently like that was some kind of insult. OMG, really? But how am I ever going to work for 30 years climbing the corporate ladder? MY LIFE IS OVER!

So I've got a week off until training for my new job starts next week. I wonder how much pot I can smoke in that time?

wildlyoscillate @ 2006-10-20T05:23:00

2006-10-19T19:32:49Z

It's 5:30am.

I've got work at 9:00am.

Ouch, eh?

I finally finished that essay? What essay? The one that was due two and a half weeks ago. Ah yes, that essay.

That no-doz was a bad idea. I didn't really need it and it's keeping me from what I really need, which is sleep.

At least I got that essay done. Which essay? We've been over this.

Double spacing makes it look like I've written more.

Should I try to sleep? I don't think the iPod's helping.

I've figured out how to forge medical certificates. It makes dodging work much easier.

Whenever I type in what music I'm listening to I always forget whether I usually type the band first or the song first. I have to go check and old post to find out. Usually by the time I've checked the song's finished and I have to type in the next song that plays. I wouldn't care if I wasn't so pedantic.

God I'm so glad I finished that essay. What essay? Shut up.

the wisdom of Jack Handey

2006-10-10T09:16:50Z

I have no idea who this Jack Handey guy is, but he's got it where it counts. Here are some of his words of wisdom.

Too bad Lassie didn't know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said "Lassie, go skate for help," she could do it.

Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.

When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone.

When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! We're rich! But it turned out to be something different.

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of the courses should be laughing, then jumping off something.

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.

oh Barry

2006-10-04T05:42:41Z

searching for my mainline

2006-07-11T07:46:04Z

Good moods, like bad moods, can come out of nowhere. I've come to the conclusion that my feelings are totally random and I don't understand myself in the least. Anyway, on with the post.
My exam results were good, much better than I expected. 69% for biology and 79% for psychology. They are the two best exam results I've ever gotten. Even my mum was pleased for once.
Paintball was genius. The place we stayed at was absolutely awesome, a brilliant little cottage out the back of some guy's house. The only problem was that you couldn't smoke inside, meaning we had to go outside every time we wanted a joint or a cigarette. Speaking of joints, my joint-rolling skills have jumped up a notch ever since I started copying the two paper style I saw Adrian using. I can now roll joints that I'm really happy to smoke, which is strange because I usually much prefer bongs or pipes. Anyway, back to paintball. I kept getting shot in the face, which was kind of funny. Every time I'd walk out with paint all over my mask and have to get it all cleaned off. I also got shot on the ass three times in the last game, which was painful as hell. Hehe, I almost wrote 'paintful'. Once we got back we proceeded to show off our war wounds and then drunk and smoked the night away. It ended with a patented Nev Green-Out Session which I now have a greater appreciation for than I once did.
The next day after a tiring trip home (in which Hotdog and Nev got kicked out of KFC for wearing pyjamas) I finally went to the doctor to fix this stupid cough. I got a new type of inhaler and some antibiotics. She also said if it's not cleared up in a week I'll need a chest x-ray, but it's already much better.
I had my final day off work today. I spent the day lazing around at home putting some things into perspective, which was sorely needed. Boy some things get confusing, but the trick is to fix the things you can and let go of the things you can't. I let go of a lot today.
Bourkey out.

we're gonna head for new horizons

2006-07-04T10:16:34Z

Top Commenters on wildlyoscillate's LiveJournal
(Self and anonymous comments excluded from rankings)

1	gamoneterik	68
2	c_c_c_cucumber	56
3	misterfuck	50
4	euphrates_tiger	48
5	stepforward	48
6	hdhallucination	47
7	jughead_the_don	43
8	sgroey	42
9	thoricane	42
10	raenima	35

11	nishiki	25
12	tomusan	24
13	skatanic___	23
14	brianisamazing	15
15	epigram_	14
16	kats_hell	13
17	rkdr_clover	11
18	zone_2	10
19	justlikehoney	7
20	push_richie	7
21	syds_emily	7
22	oilofvitriol	5
23	mien	4
24	equinox_dusk	4
25	capotine	3
26	legiolinde	3
27	purplecat_stew	3
28	white_raven18	3
29	find_the_girl	2
30	petertoldmeto	2
31	styf	2
32	hooliojones	1
33	ricochet_rabbit	1
34	hellie_may	1
35	koulknot00	1

Total Commenters: 36 (1 not shown)
Total Comments: 1007
Report generated 4/07/2006 8:14:21 PM by scrapdog's LJ Comment Stats Wizard 1.7

will they ever believe us

2006-07-02T15:20:27Z

Bourkey loves you all.
So does Borkey.

you aint no fucken dancer

2006-06-27T11:20:15Z

Hi everybody. How are we all? Good? That's good.
I'm not bad. Thanks for asking.
I've been kind of busy recently. Work's been good. Tiring, but good. It's strange working in a workplace with so many other people, but luckily nobody (since that nutjob Irene got booted) really bothers me. Quite the opposite actually, I get along well with most people there, and a few especially well.
One thing that's annoying me is that no matter how much I earn per week I always manage to run out of money a few days before my pay day. I must learn to save.
I had a great (albeit strange) weekend. Talkshow Boy and Spitfire Parade were awesome on Friday, resulting in an awesome night all around. Saturday was even better. I love how all it takes for a good time is a bunch of great people and some drinking. Simple as that. The endless truth or dare probably had something to do with it too. I think the prize for best dare has to go to Hotdog for that sexy sexy dance.
Last night was fun but painful. We watched the soccer at some place in Melbourne Central. Anyone else who watched it will know what I mean by painful. Totally robbed. I'll leave it at that.
On an unrelated note, I've come to realise my mind is my worst enemy and I have pledged to ignore that fucker until he decides to treat me better.

Here's a lyrics quiz, because I can't think of anything else to write.

drip drip drip drip drip
come on hide your lovers underneath the covers
it's messy yes this mess is mine
I will always die so you can remember me
come armageddon come armageddon come

I'm going to watch some Mighty Boosh.

wildlyoscillate @ 2006-06-14T15:45:00

2006-06-14T05:45:32Z

I've got nothing to say.

monkey priorities

2006-06-12T10:22:10Z

In the 1950’s Harlow was given the challenge of raising infant monkey’s and ensuring that their survival rate would be greater than that raised by cage raised mothers. In delivering diets rich in vitamins, iron extracts, penicillin, chloromycetin, 5% glucose, etc, Harlow decided to study the development of affectional responses of neonatal and infant monkeys to an artificial, inanimate mother, and so he built a surrogate mother which he “hoped and believed” would be a good surrogate mother. The surrogate was made from a block of wood, covered with sponge rubber, and sheathed in tan cotton terry cloth. A light bulb behind her radiated heat. The result was a “mother” that was soft and warm. Harlow constructed a second mother surrogate, a surrogate in which he deliberately built less than the maximal capability for contact comfort. This “mother” was made of wire-mesh, a substance that Harlow suggested was entirely adequate to provide postural support and nursing capability, and it was warmed by radiant heat. Harlow suggested that the second surrogate’s body differed in no essential way from that of the cloth mother surrogate other than in the quality of the contact comfort which she can supply. Harlow even arranged it so that the wire “mother” could feed the infant while the cloth mother could not. He found that the infants spend the vast proportion of their time on the cloth mother and only went to the wire mother for milk. Harlow noted that ‘These data make it obvious that contact comfort is a variable of overwhelming importance in the development of affectional response [meaning contact comfort], whereas lactation is a variable of negligible importance”.

In other words, affection beat nutrition. Love beat food.

procrastination

2006-06-11T14:09:20Z

Things I've learned today:
Minimal communication with the outside world makes me go silly.
Statistics is fuck easy for a maths nerd.
Checking livejournal every five minutes is not healthy.
Nerds cannot play soccer, especially against prison inmates.
You know you drink too much coke when you have an 'old coke' and a 'new coke'.
Talking Heads are awesome.
Men can get breast cancer too.
Being home alone isn't as fun when you have to study.
Formula sheets are my best friend.
The fish and chip shop lady is really generous (six tartare sauce at no extra charge).
I am quite skilled in the art of procrastination.
When the leader of the Wise Guys offers to cut you into his drug operation 60/40 when his share should be much higher considering you only sell prescription drugs you swiped from the hospital ward and he sells heroin and pot he probably wants something in return like a promise that you will kill the leader of the blacks for him which will probably start a war between you and the blacks thereby eliminating both you and the blacks in one fell swoop and handing him total control of both the kitchen and the drug trade if not all of Emerald City.

colour me kubrick

2006-06-10T13:13:11Z

My parents have gone away for the long weekend, leaving me and the house to get better aquainted. I should be studying but instead I've taken to running all over the house climbing on things and jumping off them while listening to Maximo Park, who are fast becoming one of my favourite bands. It's very tiring, but a lot of fun. If I stop for too long I get to thinking about things I'd rather not think about for once.
I went and saw Colour Me Kubrick with Kerr tonight, which is a very good movie. John Malkovich was brilliant as always. It's not good that I don't see Kerr as much as I should, and I've resolved to change that. But then again there's a lot of people in that situation.
Sam, are you OK? Did you survive? Would you like me to make you some soup? I've got some packets of chicken noodle soup in the cupboard, I'm sure I could figure out how to work them.
Oh, everyone should add Max to their friends list, so you can be up to date about her Vietnam adventures. Her username is petertoldmeto.

my brain is silly

2006-06-05T04:17:55Z

Crushes are wierd, irrational contsructs. I've currently got one on a girl in my biology pracs (which are now finished, awww) that actually made me want to go to uni. I know, wierd, huh?
I missed the last couple of weeks of pracs, first because I was sick, then because of work. So I thought that was the end of it. But who should stroll into my biology exam today and sit right next to me? No, not Peter Costello, not even Princess Mary Donaldson, but the crushee. Great, how the hell could I do my exam under those conditions?
Halfway through that exam, which was horrifically painfully hard and destroyed my spirit beyond repair (quick, somebody call Oprah!) I dropped my pencil and it landed right under her chair. It was an accident, I swear. She picks it up and gives it back and gives me this great big smile to go with it. So I'm sitting there in an exam that I'm almost certain I'm failing, meaning I will get kicked out of uni and have to beg on the streets, and I've got the biggest fucken grin on my face just because some girl smiled at me.
BRAIN, I HATE YOU. PLEASE WORK NORMALLY FROM NOW ON, OR I SHALL GET ANGRY.
By the way, I recovered somewhat in the latter half of the exam, and I now think I'll pass. So no street begging. I hope.

biology can suck my balls

2006-06-03T10:29:43Z

Everyone's out having fun and I'm here studying. Poo.
I probably should have gone to those last few weeks of lectures, it would have made things a lot easier. Oh well, live and learn. Actually, I've done this before and I didn't learn that time. Or the time before. This time next semester I'll be sitting there saying "oh crap, I should have gone to those lectures, oh well, that's a lesson learned" and it will be as much bullshit then as it is now.
The good news is I think I'll pass. I won't do as well as I wanted to at the start of the semester, but at least I won't get kicked out. At least I think I won't. Well, I hope I won't.
Maximo Park are great. My speakers don't do this song any justice.
I'll do graffiti if you sing to me in French...

cometogetherrightnowoverme

2006-05-28T06:19:41Z

Last night was insane. In the membrane.
I'm pretty sure I've never been that drunk before. I threw up once and passed out countless times. As usual I can hardly remember anything. What I do remember is totally nuts though.
We need to that that AGAIN. And again. And again and again and again.
The word 'again' has lost all meaning now.

Quiz The Sixth

2006-05-23T17:48:47Z

I'm bored. Here's a quiz. One point artist, one point song.

I'm gonna try for the kingdom if I can
looking for hope and I know it's you
I can't work I can't achieve send me back
you don't need this disease
I'm gonna smash your face with love love love
I never held you you never hold me it's happening all over again
theirs is to win if it kills them they're just humans with wives and children
it's another year for me and you another year with nothing to do
if I could take the fire out from the water I'd share a life and you'd share a life
I hope I die before I get old

everything's coming up milhouse

2006-05-21T18:32:24Z

Things are pretty sweet at the moment. I've only got one week of uni to go, and I'm not too far behind. Certainly not as far behind as I have been in the past. All I've got left by way of assessment is two exams, perfectly placed at one week apart for maximum study time. I've submitted everything I've needed to over the semester, so I'm not having to play catch-up with my exam marks. For once I should actually get a couple of half decent marks. Nothing special, but good enough.

I start training for my new job on Wednesday. It certainly seems like it's a much better job than I've ever had for many reasons; I get to sit on my ass, the pay is much more, and I have three close friends who work there too. Couldn't ask for much more. I'm getting very excited about the fact that I will soon have money again. I can buy stuff whenever I want! I don't have to skip meals to afford going out! Hell yeah!

Today/yesterday (it's 4:30am) I finally got a new phone! You people can actually contact me now! How exciting is that! It's the sexiest little bitch of a phone ever. It's one of those ones with the screen that slides up to reveal the number pad. I'm currently practicing opening it by flicking my wrist so I can look ultra-cool when I answer a call. Be prepared to be amazed.

The number is the same as my old one, which is 0402 353 732. Give me a call sometime. Or at least send me a message so I have your number. My address book is pitiful at the moment.

Not everything's so peachy, but I've learned to not expect everything to be. You can't have everything. But all in all, things are looking up.

working boy... for cereal!

2006-05-18T05:37:54Z

I GOT THE JOB!
STEVE HOLT!

sleeping in is giving in

2006-05-18T05:18:49Z

I just woke up after sleeping for 16 hours. I'm still tired.
I don't think my body works like it should.